In case some of you haven’t been paying attention, the Apocalypse is set to take place tomorrow.
If there are any athletes who might survive on the post-apocalyptic planet, it would be mixed-martial artists.
Here are the five guys I would like to be around tomorrow, once The Rapture saves those who will be saved.
1. Matt Hughes – As his walk-out song goes “A Country Boy Can Survive”. Hughes is a farm boy that can probably do anything and everything as long as he has a pair of boots and a piece of John Deere equipment that he can break down into parts. He can certainly kill any other living animal and will likely know how to build a fire and refine liquid into water. The question is, will he spend too much time making smart-ass remarks about how much of a girl you are for trying to get your IPhone to work? You also would have to put up with his stories about how boring a fighter Georges St. Pierre is.
2. Lyoto Machida – Machida is almost like an animal more than a human when you consider his cat-like speed and reflexes. I would think no zombies stand a chance against him. Also, the man drinks his own urine, so a lack of water won’t be a big issue for him. Let’s just hope if we can’t find food that he thinks your bodily releases will also make for a good replacement.
3. Forrest Griffin – The man wrote a book about it, so I have a sense he is prepared. He doesn’t seem too concerned with bathing or looking good, so he wouldn’t waste time with that. He also is a scrapper, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him try and take down a cougar or a lion for food. Problem with Forrest is, he might kill you, and not just for necessity.
4. Chael Sonnen – As a man in an apocalyptic world, you are going to need to tap into your survival instincts and really draw on adrenaline and testosterone. Well, Chael has plenty of that. In fact, he has some by the bottle full. So, you may have to put up with a lot of idiotic statements that he will later claim he never said, but at least your motor should always be on high.
5. Roy Nelson – Sure, he doesn’t look like much of an athlete, but the guy can hit hard and he can choke out any zombies or animals that might attack. He has a big appetite, so food will always be a priority in your survival group, which means you should eat well. Also, his belly should make a nice pillow during the down times
